Thursday, September 30, 2004

Did I ever mention that my mommy is a jane of all trades and a master of all? Yep! I dare to boast because it's true. She's a doting grandma, a good cook, great with handicrafts, loves gardening, is pretty (even at her age!), home dentist and medical dispenser (i.e., pampering), fashion consultant, and my very own mommy!

Mommy, if you ever find my blog (i.e., once you've mastered how to switch on the PC) here's a list of how I love thee...

10. Mom's yummylicious tiramisu.
Made with finger biscuits dipped in coffee and pure Philadelphia cheese and cream. Topped with milo and almond bits. Secret Recipe's or any coffee house rival!

09. White and pink checks smocking dress.
Mom sew this dress for me when I was still a baby. Her granddaughter proudly inherits it today.

08. Mommy's smell.
Mommy smells like well, mommy. Nice and comforting. yum yum.

07. Kacang putih man.
I miss the times when we'd go downtown KL and buy kacang putih from the kacang putih man, all wrapped in a newspaper cone.

06. Beads and buttons.
Mommy helped me with my beads collection. And she always have this rattan container full of buttons. I just love those glittery stuffs.

05. Box queen.
Mom's the reigning box queen at home. Used to be grandma but she passed away last year. Plastics, tins, boxes fills up all the space. Comes in handy though. (Mom sort of stopped collecting stuffs though, perhaps it's because she can't find anymore space)

04. Mom's tortoise hanky hat.
Caught in the rain without a brollie? Well, fish out your hanky and tie a knot at each corner, viola! you have a tortoise hanky hat.

03. Mom's yummylicious cooking.
Mommy's cooking is reaalllyy good! Well, everyone says that too!

02. Storyteller.
Mom tells good stories. Real life ones, funny ones, weird ones (for e.g., when I was a toddler, mom said I toddled to one of the cows lazing opposite the house and hang upside down from the cow and drank milk. I believed. erm, I was a gullible kid).

01. For being mom.
For bringing me into this world. Bringing me up in a nice home. Loving me.

I need to stop. My eyes just became all watery.

3:44 PM 0 comments hmm?

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Yellow socks, blue socks
or green polka dots socks.

Woolly socks, cotton socks
or grandma knitted socks.

All sitting neatly in my closet,
folded and lemonly scented.

But among all my socks,
is my favourite pair of socks.

It's my pin striped socks,
sweetly pink and white

Pulled above my knee,
worn with my matching T

12:37 PM 1 comments hmm?

Friday, September 24, 2004

The definition of Lethargy.

1. Your yawning frequency is more than 15 times/minute, coupled with the secretion of tears. And the yawning is involuntary as opposed to yawning due to boredom.
2. You feel like sleeping the day away. Or the week, or forever, like sleeping beauty.
3. You trundle sluggishly to that favourite secluded corner of yours in the office to catch 40 winks. Or at the gents/ladies.
4. You either nod or grunt in a conversation while trying to stiffle that big yawn.
5. Your thoughts are incoherent and coming up with five definitions for lethargy is a major accomplishment.

3:25 PM 0 comments hmm?

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

And in hopelessness, hope shines through.

Though I've yet to find the answers I'm seeking, I know I have every reason to be contented and most importantly, to have hope.
Good things come to those who wait... patiently. (-:

11:44 AM 2 comments hmm?

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

1. Why do I struggle with self worth to the point of refusing to accept the love others have for me?
2. Why can't I flush out the remnants of disappointment/defeat after it is long over?
3. Why do I still doubt what I believe is true?
4. Why do I procrastinate when tomorrow might not even come?
5. Why am I afraid to admit that I need help?

3:27 PM 0 comments hmm?

There's a place that exists within our world of thoughts. There's no physical form nor can it be measured by space. If I were to describe it in words, it would be a desolate place, reeking with self pity and wailing with agony. A wasteland of loneliness. Ear splitting silence. Shadowy beams of suffering light. A place of unspeakable pain.

This is TragiCity. A place dreaded by every man, sane and otherwise. A place hosted by our very own minds.

Running parallel with TragiCity is Hopesville. A place of soothing calmness and joy. Cheerful laughter permeates the air. Perseverance and forgiveness are the pillars of strength. And most importantly, the light of hope shines through like a beacon.

TragiCity and Hopesville exist in our minds. I wonder whether is it a bad thing to allow oneself to sink into depression. No doubt it's always preferable to be on the other side. Perhaps it's okay to be on 'visiting' basis but becomes bad when you allow negative thoughts to take permanent residence in your mind.

As I walk the path of my life that lies between these two places, may I have the courage to learn and understand life's lessons.

Perhaps nothing is ever so tragic when hope is living next door.

10:19 AM 2 comments hmm?

Monday, September 20, 2004

What she has to say...

1. What can I say? My grin is so small that only 16 teeth are visible.
2. Contradiction is intelligence in it's own right. But I was merely being rebellious.
3. Well, frooitcakes see the world differently.
4. Sorry that I forgot to clean up the chip crumbs from your head. I guess I forgot that you're absorbent.
5. Well, I think this is no longer an issue.
6. Ahh, tommy is yesterday news. Please welcome girlie to center stage.
7. Only be afraid when you start laughing uncontrollably.
8. One down, nine more to go!
9. Hmm, the power of manipulating someone into believing that he is being manipulated. Cool!
10. see #9.

1:57 PM 0 comments hmm?

Sunday, September 19, 2004

10. Pink quilt covers are suitable only for girls.
09. Ordinary people creates extraordinary events.
08. Fruit smoothie ice blend boosts laughter.
07. Driving aimlessly on the road is not an aimless thing to do.
06. Having fruitcake and frappi in a coffee house while it's raining outside creates a warm and snuggy feeling.
05. Rubber maid bottles are must-haves.
04. Bottles are better than envelopes.
03. Falling in love is easy, falling out of love is an option, staying in love is a challenge.
02. Yummylicious will one day be a valid entry in Oxford Dictionary.
01. I don't need to have the best things/people to be contented.

10:17 PM 2 comments hmm?

Monday, September 13, 2004

1. Don't make any decisions. You might regret your gut feelings.
2. Sleep. Somehow time is much better spent asleep then mulling over something you can't decide.
3. Have carrot juice minus milk. Apparently the beta carotene properties helps to clear the mind.
4. Don't seek your mom's advice. Unless you want to hear her nagging voice for the next 10 hours.
5. Seek solitude at the beach. The sea breeze works wonders.

11:49 AM 0 comments hmm?

Friday, September 10, 2004

In Western culture, people hug one another as a sign of greeting. Friends, family, acquaintances, even strangers sometimes. But if an old man in dirty, raggy clothes comes up to you, will you hug him? I doubt it. You wouldn't even notice him in the first place. Honestly, I wouldn't hug him either.

But let's twist the situation a little. Imagine you're the newly crowned Miss World (or Mr World for the guy readers). Three hours ago, in your well rehearsed answer to the all important finale question, you pledged that if you're crowned Miss/Mr World, your mission would be to help the poor, homeless and the old. And oh, World Peace. And whaddya know? You won. Obviously it's not because of your out-of-this-world dramatic speech.

After all the blowing kisses in the air, you're whisked to your first press conference. In teary mascara smudged face (with trademark white teeth) you say your thanks, etc. (you mean you're unaware that Mr World pageants wear mascara too?!) Yadda yadda yadda and you're ready to start your reign as Miss/Mr World.

As you're preparing to step into the waiting limo, grinning with pearlies on display (and making a mental note to thank Dr. Smith the dentist) who should come by but the old man in dirty, raggy clothes. Your eyes met his briefly and you didn't like what you saw. He's standing 30 feet away and you could smell his mothball rags. And all of a sudden, a member of the press has a brilliant (or twisted) idea. What better to mark your reign as Miss/Mr World than a front page picture of you hugging the homeless chap. Tomorrow's headlines: Miss/Mr World serious in her/his pledge.

After much hugging (breath held), niceties exchanging, lengthy snapshots, it's finally over. You give out one last pearly smile and steps into the limo. Oh boy! The things you have to do as Miss/Mr World.

Sigh, are we shallow people afterall? Of course there are indeed people who genuinely do what they pledged. But the majority of us, we wouldn't hug the old chap unless we're in the spotlight. This is food for thought. Especially we'll all grow old in time to come. Some of us will age gracefully, some might end up like the old chap. I'm afraid to think further.

1:52 PM 0 comments hmm?

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Decisions decisions decisions... okay, assuming you have already made one. The next thing that needs doing is to follow through. Along the bumpy road you meet with obstacles and what-nots. Assuming the word quit isn't part of your vocabulary, but disillusionment is. Here comes the big question ... Do you press on steadfastly or stubbornly?

Huh?!?? say what?

I'd define steadfast as pressing on because you know you're working towards something that's good and right.
Stubborn would mean pressing on because you want to prove you're right, i.e., logic isn't applicable.

Right now, I'm steadfastly seeking what I lost a year ago... reconciliation with God and my beliefs.

And I'm stubbornly holding on to the fact that I don't need a significant other to fill up the void that's plaguing inside of me.

1:01 PM 0 comments hmm?

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Kids these days are amazing. Consider this conversation overheard between two 6-year-olds, presumably having affections for each other.

Calvin: Hey Suzie, you know I like you, don't you?
Suzie: Yeah Cal... you told me that a couple of times already.
Calvin: What about you?
Suzie: What about me? (pretending to be blur)
Calvin: Yeah Suz... do you like me or not? (slightly nervous)
Suzie: Well Cal, you know I do. (blushes slightly)
Calvin: ... uhm, it would be nice to hear you say it though. (voice sounding cheeky)
Suzie: Sigh, you know I do. (blushes rose pink)
Calvin: Ah well, yeah I suppose I do. (disappointed)
Suzie: ...
Calvin: Hmm, why don't you let me hug you? (curiousity mounting)
Suzie: Uhm well, 'cause you know why ... (cheeks turning pinker)
Calvin: Or hold your hand ... and smooch you like how those people do in the movies? (curiously and brazenly daring)
Suzie: *gulp...* I.. I.. uhm, well ... (cheeks turning extremely pink)
Calvin: Sigh, I'm sorry. I uhm have a question to ask you... just one question. ... Do you miss me? (hoping against hope)
Suzie: You know I do... (cheeks turning beetroot red)
Calvin: Sigh ... okay... (dissapoinment reaching its peak)

Both Calvin and Suzie pauses to what seems like eternity 'til...

Suzie: Cal... you know I miss you and like you. *pause* But do you know why I miss you? ... I miss you for being there for me and spending time with me. These are very precious memories to me... I'm eager to see you again because of these reasons. I don't want to miss you because of other intimate reasons. *pause* Besides, we're not old enough to do these stuffs just yet. (smiling satisfiedly)
Calvin: *lump in throat* (sniffs slightly)

Sigh, little boys have so much to learn. But little girls? Oh, they seem so eager to be responsible, mature and understanding at their age. (:

9:44 PM 0 comments hmm?

Friday, September 03, 2004

A genie has just granted you 3 wishes. What does your heart desire?

Every beauty pageant will wish for world peace. Really.
NGOs will want more food to feed the hungry.
The materialistic will want more money and material possessions.
The famous will want more fame and recognition.
The timber tycoons and green advocates will wish for more trees. Of course, both with different agendas.
The average Jo will first wish for 100 more wishes (hah! how typical)
And oh, Ken will wish for a permanent reconciliation with Barbie.

As for me, I hope I'll never bump into a genie.

Sometimes, I think what we want might not be right. However noble the thought. Whatever happens I believe, happens for a reason. However tragic, bleak and horrible, I believe things have to happen to precipitate another event. Who are we to determine what's right? Especially when we have limited knowledge of the works.
...
Perhaps, ... just so perhaps, I might just wish for a contented heart to bring me through the good and bad times.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

12:42 PM 0 comments hmm?